D. Game of Thrones Opening Scene:
Will: As a man of the Night's Watch, Will wants to keep the realm safe and complete his task along with comrades is to track the Wildlings. Upon finding dead bodies he wishes to return to the Wall with the other men however Ser Waymar orders them to stay put thus causing conflict among the men.
Gared: Upon completing their mission to track the Wildlings, Gared wishes to return to the wall along with Will and Ser Waymar. The issue he faces, however, is that Ser Waymar has said that returning to the wall with Will would render him a deserter and ultimately lead to his death as the vows of the Night's Watch states.
Ser Waymar: Ser Waymar is the leader of the group and with as he is in this position, he wishes to remain in control and to find out how the Wildlings came to their deaths. To him, simply knowing they are dead isn't sufficient and he requires confirmation to be certain of how they died in case they are questioned upon returning. With his men not being cooperative and unwilling to aid him, he is forced to be stern and make them accompany him. This causes conflict as he wants to carry on yet his men do not.
Walking Dead - Character conflict
Minutes
Minutes
Style
The script is quite similar to the Game of thrones script in that it's very descriptive. The entire first segment of the opening is dedicated for description, this builds up an atmosphere.
Content
The sequence is setup slowly so that you get introduced to the characters, their personal problems and shows their relationship with each other. The sequence starts off very light, with the conversation escalating into much deeper conversation highlighting real problems. This conversation in some ways foresees the danger coming up in the next scene. It sets the mood.
Narrative Structure
Due to the fact it's TV show the overarching problems or aspirations of the characters aren't immediately apparent, instead they are spread across seasons or episodes and creates constant cliffhanger elements.
Genre
The Walking Dead's elements are indicative of the horror/drama genre. For example, the atmosphere that is created with the music and carefully designed sets are made to simulate post a apocalyptic setting.
Target Audience
The target audience is teenagers and young adults. The show is rated 18 and gets shown post watershed. The content in the show is very gory, graphic and has adult themes.
Differences
There is a lot more dialogue in The Walking Dead compared to Game of Thrones. The genre of these series are similar but The Walking Dead is more focused on apocalyptic themes however both typically share the same idea.
Script Feedback
From the feedback I received, the length was good, the format was correct and clear with character names being capitalised initially. Grammar and spelling were good and character roles and descriptions were good. The differentiation between the characters is clear also although maybe more personality could be conveyed through their speech or body language.
Original Crime Drama
Character
Zoe Simmons, 17, intelligent, straight As in school, tech savvy
5"9, green eyes, tan skin, afro w/afro comb
Tattoo of wings on her back
Black Jeans, comic T-shirt w/long sleeve shirt over the top
Pocket items: House keys w/picture of her girlfriend, iPhone 6s, Headphones
General Series Arc
Zoe's father is kidnapped by the Triads who've been running a human trafficking ring with increased activity as of 2 weeks before the series is set and she is forced to look for him with the help of her best friend and her best friend's brother (a police hacker). While trying to find her father, she's being hunted down by a special forces agent also tracking her father and the Triads. With all of this happening, Zoe is having to worry about school, her girlfriend who's in hospital and now in the sights of the Triads as leverage, and looking for her father. Towards the end of the series, after having several things that hinder her search for her father and endanger the lives of the people she loves, Zoe, with the help of the agent, finally gets to meet face to face with the man that kidnapped her father.
1st Episode Arc
The episode starts off with a shot of the front of the school with the name clearly visible. Zoe is starting her day off like normal in class, her best friend, her friends and other important characters like her best friend's brother, a hacker/police officer, get introduced to the audience and the "normal" world is established by showing her relationships with her girlfriend, her friends, and family. As well as this, we get introduced to the day to day teenage problems she faces like having a lot of homework for all of her classes as she's an extremely academic student and begin to see her technical skills with a computer. She gets a text from her father saying he's going to be late home that night, nothing really out of the ordinary as he tends to work a lot but he doesn't come home. The following day, we get introduced to the Special Agent character as he is watching her house. We follow her to school where she talks to her friends about how her dad didn't show up however her friends dismiss it, as does her girlfriend Kristina (Krissy/K) initially, although they have a moment where they talk about it alone and this is where the first on-screen kiss happens.
At the end of her school day, we see her walking with her girlfriend crossing the road. From the Agent's point of view, this is the opportunity he's been waiting for, to get Zoe. This moment however passes quickly as Krissy is hit by a car and people. police and paramedics swarm the scene and Zoe get into the ambulance forcing the Agent to retreat.
Tensions are high as her girlfriend is in a critical state in the hospital when she gets a call with a masked voice telling her about the situation revealing to her that her father has gone missing and that she's being tracked by someone. This is when she gets asked to meet the mystery man at a warehouse located in the outskirts of the city. At first Zoe gets angry wondering if this is just a game to him and questions if he's telling the truth but the man tells her to look outside of the room and doing so, she sees to men in suits looking for her. The man leads her out of the hospital and upon leaving down an ally, a chase scene ensues between her and 2 agents. As an ex-gymnast in her youth, Zoe is extremely agile, able to outmanoeuvre both with the guidance of the man up until she's trapped by a car at the end of an alley. She vaults over the car where a white van pulls up with a guy in some high tech gear. The guy is her best friend's brother. They drive away to where they were supposed to meet. In the warehouse, he shows Zoe everything he knows. He tells her who took her father (the Triads) and who's tracking her although they have no idea what the motives of these guys tracking her are. Outside however, we see from inside the car, a high ranking Triad with a distinct dragon tattoo on the side of his face watching the meet on a laptop. He talks in Chinese to someone unknown to us over a communications device saying that the girl knows and needs to be taken out. After this happens, it cuts to the agent in his car parked further down the road and we here from his end what the Triad is saying as he's tracking both the Triads and Zoe.
Positives:
Negatives:
Content
The sequence is setup slowly so that you get introduced to the characters, their personal problems and shows their relationship with each other. The sequence starts off very light, with the conversation escalating into much deeper conversation highlighting real problems. This conversation in some ways foresees the danger coming up in the next scene. It sets the mood.
Narrative Structure
Due to the fact it's TV show the overarching problems or aspirations of the characters aren't immediately apparent, instead they are spread across seasons or episodes and creates constant cliffhanger elements.
Genre
The Walking Dead's elements are indicative of the horror/drama genre. For example, the atmosphere that is created with the music and carefully designed sets are made to simulate post a apocalyptic setting.
Target Audience
The target audience is teenagers and young adults. The show is rated 18 and gets shown post watershed. The content in the show is very gory, graphic and has adult themes.
Differences
There is a lot more dialogue in The Walking Dead compared to Game of Thrones. The genre of these series are similar but The Walking Dead is more focused on apocalyptic themes however both typically share the same idea.
Script Feedback
From the feedback I received, the length was good, the format was correct and clear with character names being capitalised initially. Grammar and spelling were good and character roles and descriptions were good. The differentiation between the characters is clear also although maybe more personality could be conveyed through their speech or body language.
Original Crime Drama
Character
Zoe Simmons, 17, intelligent, straight As in school, tech savvy
5"9, green eyes, tan skin, afro w/afro comb
Tattoo of wings on her back
Black Jeans, comic T-shirt w/long sleeve shirt over the top
Pocket items: House keys w/picture of her girlfriend, iPhone 6s, Headphones
General Series Arc
Zoe's father is kidnapped by the Triads who've been running a human trafficking ring with increased activity as of 2 weeks before the series is set and she is forced to look for him with the help of her best friend and her best friend's brother (a police hacker). While trying to find her father, she's being hunted down by a special forces agent also tracking her father and the Triads. With all of this happening, Zoe is having to worry about school, her girlfriend who's in hospital and now in the sights of the Triads as leverage, and looking for her father. Towards the end of the series, after having several things that hinder her search for her father and endanger the lives of the people she loves, Zoe, with the help of the agent, finally gets to meet face to face with the man that kidnapped her father.
1st Episode Arc
The episode starts off with a shot of the front of the school with the name clearly visible. Zoe is starting her day off like normal in class, her best friend, her friends and other important characters like her best friend's brother, a hacker/police officer, get introduced to the audience and the "normal" world is established by showing her relationships with her girlfriend, her friends, and family. As well as this, we get introduced to the day to day teenage problems she faces like having a lot of homework for all of her classes as she's an extremely academic student and begin to see her technical skills with a computer. She gets a text from her father saying he's going to be late home that night, nothing really out of the ordinary as he tends to work a lot but he doesn't come home. The following day, we get introduced to the Special Agent character as he is watching her house. We follow her to school where she talks to her friends about how her dad didn't show up however her friends dismiss it, as does her girlfriend Kristina (Krissy/K) initially, although they have a moment where they talk about it alone and this is where the first on-screen kiss happens.
At the end of her school day, we see her walking with her girlfriend crossing the road. From the Agent's point of view, this is the opportunity he's been waiting for, to get Zoe. This moment however passes quickly as Krissy is hit by a car and people. police and paramedics swarm the scene and Zoe get into the ambulance forcing the Agent to retreat.
Tensions are high as her girlfriend is in a critical state in the hospital when she gets a call with a masked voice telling her about the situation revealing to her that her father has gone missing and that she's being tracked by someone. This is when she gets asked to meet the mystery man at a warehouse located in the outskirts of the city. At first Zoe gets angry wondering if this is just a game to him and questions if he's telling the truth but the man tells her to look outside of the room and doing so, she sees to men in suits looking for her. The man leads her out of the hospital and upon leaving down an ally, a chase scene ensues between her and 2 agents. As an ex-gymnast in her youth, Zoe is extremely agile, able to outmanoeuvre both with the guidance of the man up until she's trapped by a car at the end of an alley. She vaults over the car where a white van pulls up with a guy in some high tech gear. The guy is her best friend's brother. They drive away to where they were supposed to meet. In the warehouse, he shows Zoe everything he knows. He tells her who took her father (the Triads) and who's tracking her although they have no idea what the motives of these guys tracking her are. Outside however, we see from inside the car, a high ranking Triad with a distinct dragon tattoo on the side of his face watching the meet on a laptop. He talks in Chinese to someone unknown to us over a communications device saying that the girl knows and needs to be taken out. After this happens, it cuts to the agent in his car parked further down the road and we here from his end what the Triad is saying as he's tracking both the Triads and Zoe.
Script Feedback
Positives:
- Good concept
- Great descriptions of characters and environments
- You get a good sense of who the characters are as people
- Good vocabulary
Negatives:
- Unfinished script
- Need to include crime and drama
- Hook needed
- Minor grammar errors need to be rectified
- Perhaps change the target audience or change the script to suit the target audience?
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